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So “being ourselves” becomes a juggling act of doing and saying things that others want, even if we don’t REALLY agree with them.But there’s another reality we rarely have the guts to test…Our fearful selves get peer pressured into doing things we don’t really want to do. Women will chase a man who’s brutally honest over the doormat who just says what he thinks others want to hear.We get bullied and pushed around by own friends as way to feel safe. The pay off is personal pride and power, even when we’re often wrong.If you keep trying to play everything we are playing, it’s going to get old.Sure it’s fun to run the pool table out one Saturday night with you.Yet we can smell desperation on a woman the same way you can smell shadiness on a man. A simple meeting of the eyes, coy smile and slow look-away should do it. Otherwise he may think you’re just zoning out and didn’t even notice him. Okay, you can do it one more time in case he’s a little slow on the pick up or is still trying to screw up his courage. We may come up and talk to you later but if you keep throwing stuff in our direction, you’ll come across as needy and desperate. I know, I know, it’s an unqualifiable generalization. First, your girls may be beautiful but save them for the bedroom. Obviously if you’re busty, they’re there but no need to bare lots of skin. If you’re going for bohemian chic, the patchwork skirt and printed top would be enough.
And this is dangerous because the world is filled with people who have expectations of us, and will let us know immediately when they disapprove. Telling a group of friends we’re not really interested in going out and getting drunk can quickly turn into powerful peer pressure and resentment. Obviously the problem with always doing and saying things that people want or expect from us leaves us in a place where we stop expressing our truest selves and instead expressing our fearful selves.
Other people DON’T WANT the responsibility of making us happy. which just means we get to no longer spend endless energy seeking approval, worrying about what we’re going to do and say or how it will impact what others might think of us. there’s a difference between caring about how people feel and caring what they think of us. So let other people manage their own thoughts and feelings and stop trying to manipulate them by not being your truest honest self. Because failure only occurs when we stop getting up and trying again. Learning to ignore the good and bad opinion of others is the most YOU possible.
They THINK they want us to do and say what they want… Obviously we share the earth with other people and it helps the world when we are willing to consider how others feel when we talk and act in this world. It not only helps the world, when you express your honest thoughts and feelings, but it also lifts you above the crowd. You’re not always going to say the right things, and you’re not always going to be right in your opinions of the world. It’s empowering and builds pride, character and confidence.
Shine The dating world is filled with a myriad of mixed messages, contrary advice and hypocritical double standards.
No wonder it can cause so many women to retreat into their safe haven of sweatpants, Merlot and Grey’s Anatomy reruns. If you bat your eyelashes over your shoulder in the general direction of a handsome young gent, your girlfriends applaud you telling you that you’re doing a good job of being approachable.