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I was at the cemetery when I decided to set up my first online dating profile.

I was visiting my husband’s grave nine months after his death, and I thought about how much life I still had left to live.

“That will scare you into never dating again,” she told me.

Of course, plenty of widows meet a great “chapter two” (widow parlance for a love after loss) and are able to move on to a new relationship.

Another found love in a grief group, only to find out that the man was horribly demeaning and all they really shared was the incredible bad luck that brought them to the group.

Yet another went on several dates with a “nice” guy who she later found out was arrested and incarcerated for a decade for possessing child pornography.

I guess that encapsulates why it is so difficult to date a widow, especially a young one like me whose loss is so new. Though I see his continuing presence in my life as a beautiful morning mist that surrounds me with love, I worry that my potential dates will see it as a murky haze that makes real communication impossible.

Maybe the real problem is that any affection I might feel for another man would always be shared, at least in some way. But most of the men in my potential dating pool are not widowed, and thus, it can feel impossible to explain how I might be able to move forward with someone new while also keeping a piece of my heart with my late husband.

But as I thought about whether to actually make my profile live, the bigger question remained unanswered. Even if I manage to communicate that I am a widow before the first date, a load of baggage remains. ” Not surprisingly, it had the effect of stopping all conversation. This type of behavior — speaking before I could really think about my response — is something I found is common for many widows.But what did I know about the world of online dating, from writing a catchy bio to appearing attractive in digital form?My research into the best online dating sites for widows and widowers was not encouraging.Where were all the other young widows and widowers? Those men usually posed as “widowed military men” and sent me message after message until I blocked them.How could I be honest about who I was and what I wanted but also attract the kind of guy I’d actually want to know? Recently, I met a handsome stranger and we got to talking about religion and spirituality.

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